Strike of MoonClan
September 30, 2020, 04:44:54 am
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: If you were wondering who "Krad" is, Krad is the Admin's Admin. He can be used by any of the Admins, and his password will be delivered to them via PM. Krad is only here to deliver bans, etc, so he won't be RPed with.
 
  Home Help Search Gallery Staff List Calendar Login Register  

Dark-san's good Bio examples: Warriors

Pages: [1]
  Print  
Author Topic: Dark-san's good Bio examples: Warriors  (Read 47 times)
Dark Mousy
Administrator
Newbie
*****
Posts: 18


View Profile
« on: October 26, 2009, 06:05:11 am »

OH MY GOSH! Dark-san is SO annoyed. I've been looking back over a few Warriors RP's on DCF, and I can't believer how bad some of the apps are! Here is Dark-san's idea. I've taken a minute out of doing nothing and written some example Bios, just so you can see what good and bad bios should look like. Also:
Every time you post a one-liner or short bio, this kitten gets scared.

This is just so those of you who are determined to write the shortest bios in the world can be shocked in to good bios. Our bad example is going to be called Rainpool. She took me about a minute to write. and her Prefix is going to be used with an assortment of suffixes.

BAD EXAMPLE WARRIOR:

    Name: Rainpool
    Age: 17 Moons
    Gender: She-cat
    Clan: ThunderClan
    Apprentice: None
    Rank: Warrior
    M/C: None
    Kin: Doesn't know
    Description:
Dark grey, blue eyes.

    Personality:
Cheeky, good natured.

    History:
Born in ThunderClan, her parents were killed by ShadowClan.

    Roleplay example:
Rainpool looked at the skinny ginger She-cat.

    Other:
No

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now that you've seen that, hows about I show you Fireshadow, who is a good example for an Lit/Advanced RPer and took me quite a while to write.

Name: Fireshadow. (Fire because she has bright ginger fur, Shadow because it's quite dark, and that it fades to black at the points.)
Age: 33 Moons
Gender: She-Cat
Clan: ShadowClan
Apprentice: Searching…
Rank: Warrior.
Mate/Crush: Toadpelt. Definitely.
Kin: She doesn’t know, and doesn’t really want to.

Description:
Fireshadow is a small cat, almost looking too small to be a warrior, but she is still a very capable fighter. She is very thin, abnormally so, that her shoulder blades, ribs and back all show very obviously. Her eyes are bright green and her pelt is quite dark, mottled ginger, fading to black at her points. Her ears have several rips and cuts in them, and she has a scar across her forehead, and one over her eye. Her right front leg is slightly crooked, as it broke but didn’t heal properly. Her tail in long and slim and she is very muscular, despite not looking it. She has very sharp claws and teeth, and is not afraid to use them. One of her ears is split straight down from the tip to the root, giving her the appearance of having three ears, and scaring quite a few kits. As she ages, she knows that her pelt will dim and that her muscles will become weaker, but she ignores this, and focuses on now.

Personality:
Fireshadow is sarcastic, unkind and bad-tempered usually, although she can be kind. She often helps the queens look after their kits, and sometimes points out to a young warrior if they are doing something wrong. When she is kind, she is just that. She thinks very highly of Toadpelt, although she would obviously never admit this, and, despite her small size, she is very cocky and commanding. She knows what’s right and what’s wrong, and would kill any cat that disobeyed the warrior code. She knows, however, that she does go overboard being irritable, and is trying to calm down. She never wants to have kits, as she prefers to fight than to stay in the camp. She’s a very able fighter.

Unlike most ShadowClan cats, Fireshadow cares very deeply about upholding and protecting the warrior code, and would quickly make it known if any cat in ShadowClan were to disobey it, and would make sure they got driven off ShadowClan territory forever.

History:
As a kit, Fireshadow had a dull life, up until both her parents died when she was three Moons old. She was irate at this, to say the least, yet she lived with it. She was cared for by the Medicine Cat up until her Apprenticeship, when she became Firepaw. Her Mentor was a good-natured she-cat called Rabbitclaw, who has since passed away. She still misses Rabbitclaw very much, although she knows if she follows the Warrior Code, she will someday join her mentor in StarClan.

Firepaw was always a capable fighter, using any method possible to defeat her enemy, unless, of course, it was outside the Warrior Code. Rabbitclaw was very careful to teach her Apprentice not to kill any cat, unless in self-defence or if the cat was outside the Warrior Code. She never showed any mercy to her opponents, even if they were inside the Warrior Code, particularly if they were of ThunderClan, as she never was quite able to forget the stories about the days of the four ‘great leaders,’ Firestar, Leopardstar, Tallstar and Tigerstar, and swore to avenge Tigerstar’s death. (What she had not been told, however, was that Scourge killed Tigerstar.)

When she was twelve Moons old, ThunderClan warriors broke in to the camp and killed several warriors, Rabbitclaw included. Backed in to a corner with only a six-moon-old Apprentice, Swiftpaw, she was faced with two strong warriors. To avenge Rabbitclaw’s death, she fought these two warriors off while protecting Swiftpaw, who was too terrified to fight. After this fight, she was made a Warrior by Sparrowstar, then the leader.

For a while, life was very dull, until one day. Fireshadow discovered a plot of her leader's to disobey StarClan and attack ThunderClan at a gathering. Both she and Swiftpaw, then Swftstorm, were very worried, so they went to ThunderClan camp to warn them. Following this, a huge fight broke out, in which Fireshadow and Swiftstorm did not participate, and StarClan were angered. Fireshadow went to see the Medicine Cat, who told her that StarClan would not be calm again until a truce was made.

During the night, Fireshadow and Swiftstorm met in secret with a group of StarClan-fearing ThunderClan cats, hoping to form a truce. ThunderClan agreed, and ShadowClan were invited to come to Mothermouth to form an allegiance, to which they grudgingly agreed. Thanks to Swiftstorm and Fireshadow's noble actions, StarClan were calm once again, but Swiftstorm was driven off ShadowClan territory and still lives as a Rogue.

When she was given her first apprentice, Darkpaw, the first thing she did was to make sure her charge always obeyed the Warrior Code. However, during a huge fight with WindClan, her apprentice was badly wounded, but he pulled through, thanks to the efforts of the Medicine Cat.

Roleplay example:

Other: She'd like an Apprentice...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And Bloodfang, who is great for a Semi-Lit app.


    Name: Bloodfang
    Age: 30 Moons
    Gender: She-cat
    Clan: ShadowClan
    Apprentice: None
    Rank: Med. cat
    M/C: Isn't allowed one.
    Kin: Doesn't know.

    Description:
She is small and lithe, with bright red eyes, claws that won't retract and canine teeth that are over her bottom lip. She has one ripped ear, and a dog's tooth through the other. Her pelt is white, speckled with red around her mouth. After fights, there is invariably blood all over her face and muzzle, which was how she got her name. No-one really knows why she is Medicine Cat. She has black bracelets with dog’s teeth around her front paws.

    Personality:
She has no respect for StarClan or the Warrior Code, so how she came to be medicine cat shouldn't have happened, really.

She's evil. She's also knowledgeable, but mostly evil. She secretly wants to kill the rest of her clan so that she alone can rule. She's very dominating, small yet fierce, with exceptionally long, fierce teeth and claws. She is a skilled fighter and happy to kill. She does have a kinder side to her personality, and her dream is to find her family. She often dreams about them.

    History:
Bloodfang is and always was a fighter. From when she was a Kit, she always got in to fights, so was exiled from her original Clan at six Moons. She then went to ShadowClan, who happily accepted her for her fighting streak. She bribed the leader of ShadowClan with stolen trinkets and kits from the Twolegplace so she could become Medicine Cat.

How she got the Dog's tooth? Fighting. She was arguing with a rouge cat that happened to have allied two dogs with him. She beat the first one easily enough and took one of its teeth for Rabbitclaw, who was then Rabbitpaw, but the second dog was more of a challenge. It had watched her fight, and knew her strategy, so it was able to give her rather bad wounds, such as her ripped ear. She eventually killed the dog, and put one of its teeth through her ear, and the tooth from the other dog in to Rabbitpaw's ear.

    Roleplay example:

    Other:
« Last Edit: January 27, 2010, 10:55:05 am by Krad » Report Spam   Logged

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter

Dark Mousy
Administrator
Newbie
*****
Posts: 18


View Profile
« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2009, 02:03:56 pm »

BAD EXAMPLE:

    Name: Rainpaw
    Age: 6 moons
    Gender: She-cat
    Clan: ThunderClan
    Mentor: Shadowstream
    Rank: Apprentice
    M/C: No
    Kin: None
    Description:
Small, dark grey, blue eyes.

    Personality:
She hasn't really settled in to it yet.

    History:
Born in ThunderClan, her parents were killed by ShadowClan, raised my medicine cat.

    Roleplay example:
Rainpaw pounced on the mouse.

    Other:
No

SOMETHING ON THE PERSONALITY!!!:
I cannot believe that some people really put that! You have a personality from the moment you're born, for heaven's sake! I like writing personalities!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Name: Firepaw
    Age: 6 moons
    Gender: She-cat
    Clan: ShadowClan
    Mentor: Rabbitclaw
    Rank: Apprentice
    M/C: No
    Kin: None
    Description:
Firepaw is a small cat, almost looking too small to be a warrior, but she is still a very capable fighter. She is very thin, abnormally so, that her shoulder blades, ribs and back all show very obviously. Her eyes are bright green and her pelt is quite dark, mottled ginger, fading to black at her points. Her ears have several rips and cuts in them, and she has a scar across her forehead, and one over her eye. Her right front leg is slightly crooked, as it broke but didn’t heal properly. Her tail in long and slim and she is very muscular, despite not looking it. She has very sharp claws and teeth, and is not afraid to use them.

    Personality:
Firepaw often helps the queens look after their kits, and sometimes points out to a young warrior if they are doing something wrong. When she is kind, she is just that. Despite her small size, she is very cocky and commanding. She knows what’s right and what’s wrong, and would kill any cat that disobeyed the warrior code. She knows, however, that she does go overboard being irritable, and is trying to calm down. She never wants to have kits, as she prefers to fight than to stay in the camp. She’s a very able fighter.

Unlike most ShadowClan cats, Firepaw cares very deeply about upholding and protecting the warrior code, and would quickly make it known if any cat in ShadowClan were to disobey it, and would make sure they got driven off ShadowClan territory forever.

    History:
As a kit, Fireshadow had a dull life, up until both her parents died when she was three Moons old. She was irate at this, to say the least, yet she lived with it. She was cared for by the Medicine Cat up until her Apprenticeship, when she became Firepaw. Her Mentor was a good-natured she-cat called Rabbitclaw, who has since passed away. She still misses Rabbitclaw very much, although she knows if she follows the Warrior Code, she will someday join her mentor in StarClan.

Firepaw was always a capable fighter, using any method possible to defeat her enemy, unless, of course, it was outside the Warrior Code. Rabbitclaw was very careful to teach her Apprentice not to kill any cat, unless in self-defense or if the cat was outside the Warrior Code. She never showed any mercy to her opponents, even if they were inside the Warrior Code, particularly if they were of ThunderClan, as she never was quite able to forget the stories about the days of the four ‘great leaders,’ Firestar, Leopardstar, Tallstar and Tigerstar, and swore to avenge Tigerstar’s death. (What she had not been told, however, was that Scourge killed Tigerstar.)

    Roleplay example:


    Other:
No
« Last Edit: October 27, 2009, 02:46:17 am by Dark Mousy » Report Spam   Logged
Dark Mousy
Administrator
Newbie
*****
Posts: 18


View Profile
« Reply #2 on: October 27, 2009, 02:52:46 am »

Kits are really easy! They don't require that much!

    Name: Rainkit
    Age: Three moons
    Gender: She-cat
    Clan: ThunderClan
    Rank: Kit
    M/C: No
    Kin: None that she knows of
    Description:
Very small, medium grey, blue eyes

    Personality:
She hasn't settled in to it yet.

    History:
Born in ThunderClan, her parents were killed by ShadowClan, raised my medicine cat.

    Roleplay example:
Rainkit moved her front paw.

    Other:
No.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good example:

    Name: Firekit
    Age: Three moons
    Gender: She-cat
    Clan: ShadowClan
    Rank: Kit
    M/C: No
    Kin: None that she knows of
    Description:
Firekit is a small cat, even for a kit, almost looking too small to become a warrior, but she is still a very capable fighter. She is very thin, abnormally so, that her shoulder blades, ribs and back all show very obviously. Her eyes are bright green and her pelt is quite dark, mottled ginger, fading to black at her points.

    Personality:
When she is kind, she is just that. Despite her small size, she is very cocky and commanding. She knows what’s right and what’s wrong, and would kill any cat that disobeyed the warrior code. She knows, however, that she does go overboard being irritable, and is trying to calm down. She never wants to have kits, as she prefers to fight than to stay in the camp. She’s a very able fighter.

Unlike most ShadowClan cats, Firepaw cares very deeply about upholding and protecting the warrior code, and would quickly make it known if any cat in ShadowClan were to disobey it, and would make sure they got driven off ShadowClan territory forever.


    History:
Firekit was born to two loving parents, along with another kit. She was very small, and the Medicine Cat feared for her life, but, even at her age, she was the dominant kit

    Roleplay example:


    Other:
No
Report Spam   Logged


Pages: [1]
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by EzPortal
Bookmark this site! | Upgrade This Forum
SMF For Free - Create your own Forum

Powered by SMF | SMF © 2016, Simple Machines
Privacy Policy